Hi everybody!
I've barely had a chance to breathe lately. Crainiosacral Therapy appointments in the cities, classes 4 days a week (instead of 2 as usual), youth group, church, meeting with my future roommate, ballet paperwork, and a very infected toe have kept me hopping (literally) the last two weeks!
Today is a total accident (on my part. Maybe not on God's part). I was off to a craniosacral appt, looked down for a moment, and got the car stuck in the driveway. :P So I did not go, and I am home blogging.
Feels like heaven. Hard to be very sorry when I've needed this so badly!
Today is a chance to breathe, a chance to catch up on some paperwork, to prepare for classes this week, to unfold and unpack the thoughts and memories that have been piling up in my head.
I was going to announce that my Mom is pregnant, but she had a miscarriage. My sister (we guess; we didn't know the gender as she was only a few weeks along) went to be with the Lord on Wednesday last week. We named her Rissa Hope and wrote messages on balloons to her and let them float off toward the moon. When she's a little older, God can read them to her. We have a cousin in heaven too, so the two of them will grow up together. I am now the oldest of 8, even though one of them isn't on earth.
It's a strange sadness, a miscarriage. I never understood it until it happened to my own sister. The loss of an expected joy doesn't result in exactly a sadness since I didn't know Rissa and I'll never know what I'm missing without her. But I'm sad because of all the joy we've lost. Rissa means laughter, and we'll never know the laughter she would have brought us. But there are no memories to accompany this feeling of loss. Thus this grief feels like a wishy-washy wondering and I don't know whether happiness or sadness will win out - for we are still ahead: we have a child waiting for us in heaven, and that child will grow up in a beautiful place.
I'm getting more and more excited about moving. It's scary; two steps forward, one step back. On and on, like a the ups and downs of a rollercoaster or the ins and outs of a tide. One thing I really want is color in my apartment, especially my bedroom, and I'm wondering how I can get color color color without painting any of the walls?!
Olivia and I made a list of things we still need.... We have a toaster oven and beds (thanks to Lyn for the bed!) and a hard, black couch. ;)
We still need:
a table and chairs (about card table size)
a tv
a tv stand with shelves
an end table (we're hoping to buy a large old trunk for an end table, but we could use two I'm sure)
That's about it for larger things. We need rugs, cute lamps, a million kitchen items, and lots of other stuff we haven't even thought of, but we're both looking forward to garage sale season. It will be fun to have things I actually need to look out for! :)
For our dinnerware, we're going to buy unique plates and bowls - no two alike. Won't that be fun? A million thanks to my sweet friend Corinna for the idea!
I've been working on getting signed up to teach at Community Ed. I'm in for St. Cloud, Foley, and working on Princeton. Elk River/Zim didn't need a ballet teacher; they have one. I really hope that fills up! There are also some exciting, crazy-wonderful, life-changing ideas about ballet being thrown around that I can't talk about quite yet - but I ask you to pray with me that God would lead me into what is best for me!
It's a season of transition, a season of learning to walk with the questions held in my hands. Emily Freeman's A Million Little Ways reminded me of that, and coincidentally (or I think not) my mentor sent me this similarly themed quote today:
I've barely had a chance to breathe lately. Crainiosacral Therapy appointments in the cities, classes 4 days a week (instead of 2 as usual), youth group, church, meeting with my future roommate, ballet paperwork, and a very infected toe have kept me hopping (literally) the last two weeks!
Today is a total accident (on my part. Maybe not on God's part). I was off to a craniosacral appt, looked down for a moment, and got the car stuck in the driveway. :P So I did not go, and I am home blogging.
Feels like heaven. Hard to be very sorry when I've needed this so badly!
Today is a chance to breathe, a chance to catch up on some paperwork, to prepare for classes this week, to unfold and unpack the thoughts and memories that have been piling up in my head.
I was going to announce that my Mom is pregnant, but she had a miscarriage. My sister (we guess; we didn't know the gender as she was only a few weeks along) went to be with the Lord on Wednesday last week. We named her Rissa Hope and wrote messages on balloons to her and let them float off toward the moon. When she's a little older, God can read them to her. We have a cousin in heaven too, so the two of them will grow up together. I am now the oldest of 8, even though one of them isn't on earth.
It's a strange sadness, a miscarriage. I never understood it until it happened to my own sister. The loss of an expected joy doesn't result in exactly a sadness since I didn't know Rissa and I'll never know what I'm missing without her. But I'm sad because of all the joy we've lost. Rissa means laughter, and we'll never know the laughter she would have brought us. But there are no memories to accompany this feeling of loss. Thus this grief feels like a wishy-washy wondering and I don't know whether happiness or sadness will win out - for we are still ahead: we have a child waiting for us in heaven, and that child will grow up in a beautiful place.
I'm getting more and more excited about moving. It's scary; two steps forward, one step back. On and on, like a the ups and downs of a rollercoaster or the ins and outs of a tide. One thing I really want is color in my apartment, especially my bedroom, and I'm wondering how I can get color color color without painting any of the walls?!
Olivia and I made a list of things we still need.... We have a toaster oven and beds (thanks to Lyn for the bed!) and a hard, black couch. ;)
We still need:
a table and chairs (about card table size)
a tv
a tv stand with shelves
an end table (we're hoping to buy a large old trunk for an end table, but we could use two I'm sure)
That's about it for larger things. We need rugs, cute lamps, a million kitchen items, and lots of other stuff we haven't even thought of, but we're both looking forward to garage sale season. It will be fun to have things I actually need to look out for! :)
For our dinnerware, we're going to buy unique plates and bowls - no two alike. Won't that be fun? A million thanks to my sweet friend Corinna for the idea!
I've been working on getting signed up to teach at Community Ed. I'm in for St. Cloud, Foley, and working on Princeton. Elk River/Zim didn't need a ballet teacher; they have one. I really hope that fills up! There are also some exciting, crazy-wonderful, life-changing ideas about ballet being thrown around that I can't talk about quite yet - but I ask you to pray with me that God would lead me into what is best for me!
It's a season of transition, a season of learning to walk with the questions held in my hands. Emily Freeman's A Million Little Ways reminded me of that, and coincidentally (or I think not) my mentor sent me this similarly themed quote today:
"This life therefore is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health, but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise.
We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it,
the process is not yet finished, but it is going on.
This is not the end, but it is the road.
All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified."
I want to memorize that.
Speaking of memorizing, I've been on a memorizing kick lately. I memorized Gerald Manley Hopkins' "God's Grandeur" and have been quoting it to whoever will let me, I'm afraid. I'm working on his "Pied Beauty," which starts out with the line
Speaking of memorizing, I've been on a memorizing kick lately. I memorized Gerald Manley Hopkins' "God's Grandeur" and have been quoting it to whoever will let me, I'm afraid. I'm working on his "Pied Beauty," which starts out with the line
"Glory be to God for dappled things -"
which sets my heart a-flurry. I am totally in love with "High Flight" by John Gillespie Magee, which almost seems too sacred to memorize. I was astonished to read his bio and discover that he died when he was 19. He wrote these transporting words when he younger than 20!
"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds, - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air;
Up, up the long delirious burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or ever eagle flew -
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God."
Isn't that... a word that's never been created yet? Ronald Reagan read that after the loss of the space shuttle Challenger with all it's crew.
I'm also memorizing Psalm 46. I've memorized it before, but Pastor Corey spoke on it last Sunday and reminded me how beautiful it is. I'm sure it's one of my favorites, and I love the psalms.
I've been having so much fun with the "demons" classes on Fridays. Sounds weird - we were laughing about it last week. "I told my friend I was going to demon class and she just looked at me!" one girl said. If I could think of something else to call a demon... but there isn't anything I can think of! Too late now anyway. lol. These are the demons that discourage our main character by showing her mirrors as if to say "look at who you are!"
The demons are three guest dancers, my sister, two of my good friends, and an adult student of mine. Together we're 8. Seeing it all put together has been thrilling, really truly. That choreography is working out really well. I think the more modern choreography comes easier to me. But it has been equally thrilling seeing the highly-classical intense piece "Up is Down" from Pirates of the Caribbean come to life for the 5 Imperial Guards of the Queen. I was a bit worried about that piece, since I found it infurriating to choreograph, because the piece doesn't "breathe" at all. The dancers looked at me strangely when I told them this, but now they know what I mean. Between that non-stop dance and the eternally crouching demons, everyone was complaining about their thighs hurt when they came the second week!
My friend Amanda is home from her DTS! I am so proud of her for going and SO EXCITED to catch up with her, just as soon as I catch up with myself! :)
Ryan and I are watching The Dark Knight Rises last night and hopefully tonight. Everyone who's seen it gets a really strange expression on their face when I ask them about it, so I'm very interested to see what happens!
Well, I'm off. I hope you enjoyed my update! :)
I'm also memorizing Psalm 46. I've memorized it before, but Pastor Corey spoke on it last Sunday and reminded me how beautiful it is. I'm sure it's one of my favorites, and I love the psalms.
I've been having so much fun with the "demons" classes on Fridays. Sounds weird - we were laughing about it last week. "I told my friend I was going to demon class and she just looked at me!" one girl said. If I could think of something else to call a demon... but there isn't anything I can think of! Too late now anyway. lol. These are the demons that discourage our main character by showing her mirrors as if to say "look at who you are!"
The demons are three guest dancers, my sister, two of my good friends, and an adult student of mine. Together we're 8. Seeing it all put together has been thrilling, really truly. That choreography is working out really well. I think the more modern choreography comes easier to me. But it has been equally thrilling seeing the highly-classical intense piece "Up is Down" from Pirates of the Caribbean come to life for the 5 Imperial Guards of the Queen. I was a bit worried about that piece, since I found it infurriating to choreograph, because the piece doesn't "breathe" at all. The dancers looked at me strangely when I told them this, but now they know what I mean. Between that non-stop dance and the eternally crouching demons, everyone was complaining about their thighs hurt when they came the second week!
My friend Amanda is home from her DTS! I am so proud of her for going and SO EXCITED to catch up with her, just as soon as I catch up with myself! :)
Ryan and I are watching The Dark Knight Rises last night and hopefully tonight. Everyone who's seen it gets a really strange expression on their face when I ask them about it, so I'm very interested to see what happens!
Well, I'm off. I hope you enjoyed my update! :)