I've been so nice to my iPod. But it feels like every time I do something kind to it it hurts me. For instance, last year I downloaded the new update (which I never do usually) and it quit playing music completely (what is the point of an iPod without music) until my techno-genius friend came over and did some techno magic and it worked again. Kind of. It played some things. Because an iPod that plays all of your songs is basically a freak of nature.
Anyway. Before I went to Ohio to visit my family a few weeks ago, I thought I'd be super nice to my iPod and take all my one million photos off of there, because Ryan, my brother, said it would make it happy (he may not have used those words), and you want these things to be really happy when you're leaving on a 14 hour road trip with a car CD/tape/radio that has recently died (and eaten your favorite CDs).
Actually, that is how most of my sad technology stories start - with some technology-speaking (as in greek-speaking) person in my life telling me intelligently, "That should work." Maybe I'm expecting too much - like I want the wizard and they're really just a kid with a wand and a bit of glowing light around them and they don't really want me to put trust in them like they're Dumbledore but I don't know the difference and I just want help so bad that I'll believe anything even if I have no idea what they're saying to me wait what was I talking about?
So I sorted through my pictures and videos (actually I clicked and dragged them to a folder, regardless of whether they are selfies or choreography reminders or screenshots of the new avengers trailer). And then I went on a 14 hour road trip, thinking I had fed my little iPod and made it happy, or starved it and made it happy, that doesn't even make sense, and now it would play music for me and keep its battery longer and do all the other wonderful things I only realize are good things by listening to the tone of the techno-genius' voice. It's like trying to determine the intent of a stranger speaking a different language. Basically all I get is "good thing for iPod" and "bad thing for iPod." I nod and shake my head accordingly, and hope I push the right buttons.
Basically in my head I thought removing my zillion pictures would kind of mellow my iPod out. It would go - "ah, now I have room to breathe, I can play more music." Instead its as though it was sitting on the edge of a cliff and the pictures side was holding it firmly onto the cliff, while the music side yodeled to the clouds passing by the cliff, and when I took off all the pictures, it waved it's tiny techno arms and fell off the cliff.
Without my iPod for my 14 hour car ride, I got extremely bored and began to make very important lists. Like why Tom Hiddleston is awesome. 1. His smile. 2. He is kind to people who embarrass him, he is a good sport. 3. He is old-fashioned polite. 4. He is easy going and open about his life, and also not a pushover. (I also made a list of why Colin Firth is awesome, and it was basically: 1. Mr. Darcy. 2. Looks good in suits. So that did not take up much time.)
After that I decided to see how far I could stretch my legs while sitting in a car.
I veeeery slowly painted my nails.
I made a list of the 5 Top Places I most want to go nationally and internationally, and debated Italy and Israel for some time, and relegated Ireland to an honorable mention because I can't think of a specific reason I want to go there - I just do. By the way, having honorable mentions at all spoils the whole point of making a list, anyway. End rant.
I talked to Mark on the phone for a seriously long time, until my phone nearly died and I had to spend half an hour in a greasy "drivers lounge" with several truck drivers playing minecraft and watching NCIS while my phone charged enough to call mom for directions.
I created a car core exercise routine for keeping drivers from feeling rubbery and bloated when life necessitates driving for14 freaking hours how long has it been. . . . .
I played "Stump Me!" with Emily, my eight year old sister, which is a trivia game we created exclusively to feed the monster of our mutual obsession with Doctor Who.
I sang every song I could remember the lyrics to.
I made two pages of notes in my journal on national forests I passed and good restaurants to try and where to buy Amish furniture.
I made notes of things to research, like "Why the moon can be seen in the daytime." (I am not kidding you, it is right in my journal.)
I made a list of the ways I'm like Jack and Sue from the TV show "Sue Thomas F.B.Eye" (WATCH IT. I WILL NEVER NOT PLUG SUE THOMAS) and tried to decide which one I'm more like. I actually think Jack. Or maybe I'd just like to think Jack but I'm really Sue. Or maybe I'm not looking at it clearly because Sue's a woman so its easier to see similarities to her. As you can see, that one was not settled despite ample time to debate. Possibly that conundrum will never be solved.
I finally even brainstormed character development for my book. That is a new level of desperation.
Two weeks later, my slightly-high, hippie, unbalanced little iPod is slowly coming around, and it played everything I asked it to today, for the first time, so hallelujah. I missed you, little iPod. Even if you were never really fully there.
Anyway. Before I went to Ohio to visit my family a few weeks ago, I thought I'd be super nice to my iPod and take all my one million photos off of there, because Ryan, my brother, said it would make it happy (he may not have used those words), and you want these things to be really happy when you're leaving on a 14 hour road trip with a car CD/tape/radio that has recently died (and eaten your favorite CDs).
Actually, that is how most of my sad technology stories start - with some technology-speaking (as in greek-speaking) person in my life telling me intelligently, "That should work." Maybe I'm expecting too much - like I want the wizard and they're really just a kid with a wand and a bit of glowing light around them and they don't really want me to put trust in them like they're Dumbledore but I don't know the difference and I just want help so bad that I'll believe anything even if I have no idea what they're saying to me wait what was I talking about?
So I sorted through my pictures and videos (actually I clicked and dragged them to a folder, regardless of whether they are selfies or choreography reminders or screenshots of the new avengers trailer). And then I went on a 14 hour road trip, thinking I had fed my little iPod and made it happy, or starved it and made it happy, that doesn't even make sense, and now it would play music for me and keep its battery longer and do all the other wonderful things I only realize are good things by listening to the tone of the techno-genius' voice. It's like trying to determine the intent of a stranger speaking a different language. Basically all I get is "good thing for iPod" and "bad thing for iPod." I nod and shake my head accordingly, and hope I push the right buttons.
Basically in my head I thought removing my zillion pictures would kind of mellow my iPod out. It would go - "ah, now I have room to breathe, I can play more music." Instead its as though it was sitting on the edge of a cliff and the pictures side was holding it firmly onto the cliff, while the music side yodeled to the clouds passing by the cliff, and when I took off all the pictures, it waved it's tiny techno arms and fell off the cliff.
Without my iPod for my 14 hour car ride, I got extremely bored and began to make very important lists. Like why Tom Hiddleston is awesome. 1. His smile. 2. He is kind to people who embarrass him, he is a good sport. 3. He is old-fashioned polite. 4. He is easy going and open about his life, and also not a pushover. (I also made a list of why Colin Firth is awesome, and it was basically: 1. Mr. Darcy. 2. Looks good in suits. So that did not take up much time.)
After that I decided to see how far I could stretch my legs while sitting in a car.
I veeeery slowly painted my nails.
I made a list of the 5 Top Places I most want to go nationally and internationally, and debated Italy and Israel for some time, and relegated Ireland to an honorable mention because I can't think of a specific reason I want to go there - I just do. By the way, having honorable mentions at all spoils the whole point of making a list, anyway. End rant.
I talked to Mark on the phone for a seriously long time, until my phone nearly died and I had to spend half an hour in a greasy "drivers lounge" with several truck drivers playing minecraft and watching NCIS while my phone charged enough to call mom for directions.
I created a car core exercise routine for keeping drivers from feeling rubbery and bloated when life necessitates driving for14 freaking hours how long has it been. . . . .
I played "Stump Me!" with Emily, my eight year old sister, which is a trivia game we created exclusively to feed the monster of our mutual obsession with Doctor Who.
I sang every song I could remember the lyrics to.
I made two pages of notes in my journal on national forests I passed and good restaurants to try and where to buy Amish furniture.
I made notes of things to research, like "Why the moon can be seen in the daytime." (I am not kidding you, it is right in my journal.)
I made a list of the ways I'm like Jack and Sue from the TV show "Sue Thomas F.B.Eye" (WATCH IT. I WILL NEVER NOT PLUG SUE THOMAS) and tried to decide which one I'm more like. I actually think Jack. Or maybe I'd just like to think Jack but I'm really Sue. Or maybe I'm not looking at it clearly because Sue's a woman so its easier to see similarities to her. As you can see, that one was not settled despite ample time to debate. Possibly that conundrum will never be solved.
I finally even brainstormed character development for my book. That is a new level of desperation.
Two weeks later, my slightly-high, hippie, unbalanced little iPod is slowly coming around, and it played everything I asked it to today, for the first time, so hallelujah. I missed you, little iPod. Even if you were never really fully there.